Romeo-san and Juliette

From Everything Shii Knows, the only reliable source

This website is an archive. It ran from 2006-2010. Virtually everything on here is outdated or inaccurate.

This story has been saved from the disgraceful ex-website known as Wikichan.



So I was out in my yard doing some gardening (it's actually quite relaxing) and I saw this little girl walking down the street in the corner of my eye. But something was wrong with her, she seemed frantic and lost. Her shirt was torn, and her arms were crossed tightly around her chest. I could just tell something was wrong with her. So when she walked by me, I called out to her. "Hey, where are you going in such a hurry?" Trying to sound friendly.

"sorry mister, please just. . "

she cut her sentence short and just went right on walking. I thought "Nah, forget it." But after a few minutes later, I went inside to get my lunch (a sammich from Publix) and I sat down on my porch and ate it. I saw something moving in the bushes across the street, something big was in the bushes. I knew who it was. It was the little girl from before, spying on me. I waved at the bush, and held up my sandwich towards it, implying that I had foodstuffs and that I was friendly. I had no intentions of molesting her, raping her, or killing her, but I just had a feeling she was in some kind of troublesome life-crisis.

After a few more bites (it was almost gone) I held it back up to her, and showed her that I had almost finished it. I hoped she didn't think I was showing off that I had food and she didn't. I just wanted to tell her that I had a bit of sandwich left, and she was welcome to have it. I was still hungry, but I didn't finish the rest of it. I wrapped it up and (along with some chips and the rest of my ice tea) placed it on the steps to my porch. I went inside my screened in porch and sat down on the chair, hidden from view of outsiders. Eventually, I saw a little body creep up, and inspect the wrapped up sandwich. It was her. She began to un-wrap the sandwich, and she took a giant chug from my drink. She got into the sandwich, and gobbled it all down quickly.

"why, hello there." I said, from behind my screened in castle.

She got startled, but didn't run away. She just crouched down on the ground and tried to hide her head. I stood up and opened the door.

"Going somewhere, or are you just here to steal my food?" I had a friendly look on my face so she didn't think I was serious.

"I- I'm sorry if you wanted that. . it was right there. . .just please don't take me back." She seemed less afraid than she did disappointed.

"I'm not going to get you in trouble. You seem a bit roughed up, are you ok?" I wanted to hold her attention for as long as possible for some reason.

"I- I am tired. I just can't go back!"

Uh-oh, generally when a loli says she "cant go back" that means one of two things: Orphanage that she hates or an abusive home.

"Where can't you go back? Are you on the run from someone?"

She hesitated, and looked all around for a moment.

"I can't tell you. . please I came so far, don't make me go back."

"How can I take you back? I don't even know where you came from. Just tell me, are you in trouble?"

"I. . yes. Please don't call the cops, or he'll get mad at me again." I guessed in her case it was the second, terrible.

She was about 7 or 8 years old, maybe less than that. She had long, wavy, blond hair. Her clothes looked slightly dirty and her sleeve was torn. She had on a blue T-shirt and a pair of old jeans.

"Just tell me, what is your name?"

"Juliette" she said, looking down to the ground.

"well, Juliette, where are your parents?"

"I don't have any. . I wish i didn't have any."

I knew that either her father or mother abused her mentally or physically, and the latter was shown on her. "what do you mean, you wish you didn't have any?"

She didn't answer, but I saw she started crying a little. I was going to ask if she wanted a ride home, but I figured that was the last thing she wanted right now.

"Are you still hungry, Juliette?"

"Yes. . a lot."

"Want to come inside and I'll fix you something nice?"

I was afraid she would take this the wrong way, all I wanted was to cheer her up, get her into a good home. I'd call the police (or whoever cares) later, but for now I'd get her something to eat and clean her up.

"well. . ok." she said

"alright, lets go inside."

I checked to make sure no neighbors saw this, some of them may also get the wrong idea. I led her into my kitchen, and looked in the fridge.

"lets see, we don't have much, but I think I can find something for you. Until then, feel free to have a seat wherever you want, use the bathroom, take a nap, Ma maison votre maison."

"what's that mean?"

"It's french, 'my house is your house'"

"oh ok. thank you for letting me stay here I'm so tired."

"I'm happy to have you, I need some company around here. By the way, my name is Brian."

I reached out to shake her hand, but she didn't respond. I smiled anyway. So as it stands now, I found stuff to make her a sandwich, but she fell asleep in my bed (she managed to find it). She's been sleeping for over an hour and a half.

I'm currently thinking whom I should call, I work as a secretary (yes, a male secretary) at a local government building, and I know how things work. I'll report her, she'll get taken from me, she'll get tangled up in red tape, and in the end go back home where she'll get beaten by some asshole father. tl;dr I have a loli house-mate.


Hey guys! She finally woke up. Well, I had to nudge her a little. I managed to get a few words from her before she felt hungry again, so I got the sandwich out of the fridge and she gobbled it down, along with a glass of milk and some chips. After I broke into my stash of candy (junior mints, the starbursts in the old wrappers and some mini twix bars) and I let her eat as much as she wanted. She seemed content, and began to lighten up. I found it to be a great time to ask her some questions. I started with the simple one: her family situation. At first she was hesitant to say anything, but then she told me everything. She wasn't staying with her real parents, but she was living with her uncle and aunt. Apparently, her uncle was kind of ill-tempered, and would strike her if she got out of line. In this bastard's mind, 'out of line' was pretty much doing everything but sleeping. She didn't say anything about touching in any sexual sense of the word, and that was a relief.

She then told me that her aunt was some kind of party maniac, and was never home. When she was home, she would be mean to Juliette and smoke and drink around her. So the good thing was, Julie wasn't staying with parents, so that makes adoption that much easier. I'm not wholly sure weather I can adopt her from her aunt and uncle, but if I can I will. I asked her if she went to school, and she said she did. . . some times. Most of the time her uncle wouldn't drive her, so she had to walk about three miles to get to school. She didn't like doing this, so she missed lots of days. She said when she was in school she did well, but her grades are slipping because of all the absence. This is all important to me because education comes first where I'm from. She then asked if she could live with me, and I said "Let's hope."

So, she asked about my life. I told her the usual: Living by myself, got dumped a few years ago, pretty much living day to day at my own pace. She admired all the knick-knacks I had at my house, and she took a keen liking to this Chinese statuette of a samurai that was in my room (my room was an Asian themed room, and the rest was just assorted. . . shut the hell up). She also took a liking to me, and that made me feel good. It was still late in the night at this point, but we didn't care. She told me about her parents, and this saddened me. Turns out her parents died in a shooting a few years after she was born (I found out she is officially 9), and she'd lived with her abusive aunt and uncle ever since. I said how horrible that is, to die in a shooting. She said that it was some crime thing but it wasn't aimed at them. Bummer.

I asked her how long the abuse was going on at her new house, and she said it only started a few years ago, when her uncle got fired from his job. That's sick, taking out your imperfections on an innocent child. She didn't really have much trouble opening up to me, and she actually seemed to enjoy talking about how much her life sucked. I guess she thought I would get her aunt and uncle in trouble or something, as I hopped to. I asked her if she has ever told anyone, and surprisingly she said she had. She told one of her friends a while ago that her uncle hits her, but it didn't get past school-yard gossip. Me and her really got along well, even if we have only gotten about thirty minutes of talking time since we met. She just liked the idea of not going back to her old home. I offered to get her out of those old clothes and take a bath/shower and she jumped right on it. I led her up the the bathroom, and turned on the water. I made sure to get it just right so she wouldn't get burned, but not too cold either.

Then, she just stripped right there and got in the tub before it was even filled all the way. She must have not had a good bath in a while, but hey, my tub was gigantic. Even I enjoy it all the time even if I use it every day. I asked her if she needed anything, and showed her were the soaps were, and she seemed to take things up from there. I took up her old clothes and threw them in a hamper, and got one of my sweaters and a pair of shorts for her (just for now). It was my old college sweater, from my junior year. She was in the bath for what seemed like forever, and I started typing this when she was in the bath. When she was ready to come out, I picked her up and wrapped a towel around her, and let her do her own thing. I was in my room making my bed (so it can be messed up again in like an hour when I go to sleep). She came waddling out of the bathroom with my sweater on, and yawned. She was still tired? No problem, I can set her- whoa! She jumped right onto my bed and made herself comfortable. I guess there's no harm in us sleeping in the same bed, I'll sleep on top of the covers and she can sleep under them, right?

So, she's sleeping again. In my bed. Under my sheets. Did I care? Of course not. When I got tired I would decide if there was enough room for me up there, or if I should just sleep on the couch.

tl;dr/recap: Things have gone just as I planned, if not better. She opened right up to me and didn't seem to mind telling me of her troubles. That was good, when it came time to report her old family to the police, we should have no problems. What do you all think? Do I sound too much like a pedo? I don't try to.


It's me again, good news from the battlefront. I went to sleep right after my thread died last night (thank you all for the support). I woke up at about nine o'clock, and I made her some breakfast for her. But she never got up. Lazy Julie is still in there sleeping. Around ten she woke up. It's ok, she must need the sleep. She came walking down the stairs, a little confused. But I greeted her with a warm smile and a hello. She was still a little groggy, so she just nodded at me. I made her an egg and English muffin sandwich (having ate her bacon from before) and she just totally inhaled it. I let her go watch TV, and I pondered who I should call. I finally just called non-emergency 911. It wasn't an emergency, after all. The woman on the other end was moody, and all I wanted was to be friendly.

I told them that a little girl was lost, and that I had reason to believe that she came from an abusive home. She seemed to understand, and told me that I should bring her to the suburban precinct. Ok, that's doable. So after some Q&A with her, I hung up the phone. I told Juliette that we were going to tell on your aunt and uncle, and it was really important that she told the truth. So after a little bit, I got her old clothes (didn't have anything that fit her) and she changed back into them. We climbed into my tiny little coupe and we drove down there. On the way, I told her to say that I just found her this morning and that I had fed you. She agreed.When we got down there, I held her hand and led her into the police station. I talked to the girl behind the counter about our story, and she didn't instantly take me as a crazy pedo. I told him that there is strong reason to believe that her uncle and aunt were abusive, and that she needs to get out of that house. She understood, and she told me to have a seat right over there. Oh lawd, is that some irony? we waited in the lobby for what seemed like forever. Then finally someone came out to get us.

He filled me in on the rules, and I told him my mind. They would have to take her to a orphanage for now, they would usually make her go home but I managed to convince them that was not a good idea (she helped too). It was towards the end of our meeting that I said that I had it in my mind to adopt her, and he told me that it was up to the orphanage. He said that they would investigate the home, and she had to give them some contact info on her aunt and uncle. It took her some thinking to remember everything they asked for, but she managed to do it. Finally, an agent from the orphanage showed up to take her away. We shared a sad goodbye. I talked to the agent in privet. I said that I and she thought it would be best if I adopt her, that is if her old home is really as bad as she says. He said that it wasn't his department, but he thought that sounded reasonable. ok, good.

Before they took her away, she ran over and gave me a hug. AWWWWWWWWWWWW. She was sad to go, but she trusted us enough to know that we weren't taking her back home. I had to stay there for some more questions about how I saw her, what I did with her, etc. He gave me a background check, and it came up with no bad marks. I was a clean man, fully capable of being trusted. I had nothing to hide of course, so I answered everything no problem. Then he asked me what I thought about her current home. I said that from the looks of it, she wasn't staying with her parents, she hated it there, and her uncle abused her as her mom drank herself to death. He was fine with everything. It was A-OK. I caught the agent as he was taking Juliette away, and he said if I wanted to contact the orphanage I could at any time. He gave me the number and the street address. This guy seemed nice, and he knew I wanted Juliette, and he didn't doubt me for a second.

So I got home at around 11:30, without a loli in tow, and I began to type this up soon after. I know many of you will respond by saying "RIP OFF OF BLINDMUTE LOLI!" "PICS OR IT NEVER HAPPENED" "WHY DIDN'T YOU POOPER HER?" But I really don't care. I know that some of you care about this, so I'm updating you. I think I will call the orphanage soon to ask if they got Juliette checked in yet. I've got a feeling I'll be visiting her every once in a while.


Greetings, /b/. It is me again. Today after I went home and started my last thread I felt lonely again. I just liked having someone around the house that I could take care of, and she was now sitting in some orphanage (or foster home or waiting room) waiting for the day we were re-united. So I figured I might as well call the number the guy gave me and see if she was processed yet. It turns out that she was at an orphanage, and they had no idea how the situation with her aunt and uncle was going. I asked if I could come down and visit her, and they said that visiting hours were from 9-7, and that I was welcome to come down. I got some stuff to take with me: the last couple of mini-twix bars, as well as my pillow. I got in my car, and drove down there. The place seemed to be a total dump. It was one of those stereotypical 1940s sinister looking brick walled building. I went in, got searched, and they showed me where Julie's room was. There were ten beds in every room, some of them un-occupied, for all of one gender in one room. She saw me the instant I walked over and ran up to hug me. She asked her what took me so long, and I just laughed. I gave her the twix bars, and she ate one and saved the other for later. The lady that showed me to her room was still there, just to monitor us (She said she was supposed to be on duty in that room, but she wasn't there when I came). We talked for a while and I asked her about her aunt and uncle some more. She seemed a bit less comfortable talking about it with all of the other girls around, so I didn't ask her too much about it. I could visit her for as long as I wanted to, but I didn't plan on staying to 7:00.

I asked her if she wanted to live with me, and I knew the answer before I even asked the question. She got really happy and started asking me "When? When will I live with you, Brian?" She was putting on a pretty large display here, but at least she was happy. I glanced over to the lady watching "the room" and she had a little smile on her face. I found it more weird than anything, because all I did was give this girl a sammich and a bath. . and a good night's sleep. . . and love.I knew that she would say "not my department" when I asked.

"Excuse me, ma'am. . I need to talk to someone about the adoption process." I got up and walked over to her, signaling for Julie to remain seated on the bed.

"Can I adopt her? I mean, if her aunt and uncle get taken away for what they've done."

"What did they do?" She asked. I forgot she didn't even know what the hell I was talking about.

"well, it's kind of a long story, but this girl has been living in an abusive home for over three years. I'm the one that turned her in, and the police say that they're investigating it and all, but I don't know."

The lady gave me the standard "Not my area" speech, then she said

"If the police take away her closes known relatives, and from what you're giving me i bet they will, then she will be put up for adoption. And from there, you just have to prove yourself a worthy host. I can see she already likes you." She was on the bed, playing around with a doll.

"I understand, but I'm just worried that she'll have to go back to her aunt and uncle. . . we don't want that if they're anything like what she said they are." I told her.

"I wouldn't worry about it, they pay the police to do their job, you can trust them to do it." That's what worried me.

"Alright then, I was just asking."

"If you want some good info, you should speak to the police and ask them how far in the case they've come. Who knows? maybe they've caught the two already."

I nodded and said good bye to her, and walked back over to Juliette.

We visited for a while longer, we talked about things like our favorite music, TV shows, etc. She says that she and her parents liked classical music and that it relaxed her. That's great, I'm into the pops myself. She says that she never gets to watch TV at her house, but she does have a CD player with some classical music on it. I almost teared up for whatever reason when she said sometimes she just puts on her headphones, to drown out her uncle's yelling, and curls up to a pillow at night to fall asleep. AWWWWWWWWWWW I asked her what she thought about living at this place. She said

"It stinks" I laughed, and said "Places like this usually do. Have you talked to any of the other girls yet?"

"no. . . I just got here. Nobody wants to talk to me either."

"That's a shame. I'm sure they'd like you if they had the chance to."

She smiled at me. After some more small talk, I looked at the time and decided I better go home. I gave her a goodbye hug and said I'd be back tomorrow to check in on her. The lady showed me back to the lobby and I told her to watch over Juliette, just to show her that I was on to her (As in she was not watching the room but just me).

Then I came home at around seven and started typing this. So, to recap (tl;dr): I visited her we had fun No pictures. . yet.


Hey, It's me again (the guy that maybe three people know about)

Well, I'm pissed. I'm a gentle guy, I usually don't get pissed. But you know what happened? They sent her back to the aunt and uncle. I knew it would end like this, but It shocked me nonetheless. It started today when I was on my lunch break. I called the place where she was staying at, and they said that she had checked out. Checked out? That had to mean one thing: The aunt and uncle found her. I asked her if she knew who took Juliette, and she said it was her aunt. Man, things just suck some times. But no, this couldn't be the end. I had planned so much, I even told you guys about her. I can't let her go back to her old and abusive 'home' where she'll get beaten for trying to find a better life. I had to get her back.

I still remembered the contact info on the aunt and uncle, and I found out where they lived by looking up the phone number (it was listed - that surprised me) and I had all I needed to go down there myself and get her back. But you know what? I still had work till 5:00 (it was around 12:30 when I took lunch off). So I had to go five hours thinking about all the horrible things that asshole of an uncle was doing to my poor Juliette. I could hardly work after that, and I accidentally put a phone call on speaker (when I had to patch it through to my boss - yeah, you can shut up about me being a secretary, Nurse-kun is a nurse). So the time came for me to head home, and I just bolted out and got into my car to drive home. When I got there, I called the number of her uncles house. . . nobody picked up. Again I called. . . nobody picked up. I left two messages (saying that I was Juliette's teacher) on the machine before I called it quits. I couldn't just go down there, what would I do? But you know what? I felt like being an asshole right now, so I decided to drive down to the house and just scout it out.

When I got there, it looked like the standard low-class brickwall house on the outskirts of the middle-class suburbs. I didn't want to knock on the door, but I parked in an empty lot across the street, and went up to the house to peek in the windows. I didn't see anybody. . the lights were out. The place looked like the standard "terrible parents trashy dump" kind of place, but I didn't see anyone. I left a note on the door with my number on it (i hoped that Julie saw it before anyone else did) that said -Brian. So after that, I just came home and started thinking weather or not I should call the police. I had no reason to, I saw no abuse take place. In fact, I didn't even see anyone. Maybe it was the wrong place? Maybe they saw me drive up and hid in the other room, thinking I was a child welfare agent? I wished it to be the last one, because if that was true they had to have been hiding from me for a reason. And that reason shot a big flare in the sky that said "ABUSE".

I don't know, maybe I am just a unconsciously pedophilic gardener, and I'm just obsessed with the girl that let lose my fantasies. Nah, I doubt it. So for those who care, that's what happened today.


Hey /b/ it's me.

An important thing happened today. I got off of work at five like I usually do. And instead of jumping on /b/ or tending to my garden, I drove to Juliette's house. Again, I parked in an empty lot across the street behind some bushes. I was still wearing my jacket and tie from work. I sneaked up to the house to peek into the windows. There was someone in the house this time: Juliette. My heart rose to new heights when I saw her. She was curled up on a couch (with a pillow) listening to a CD player. I didn't see anyone else in the house, so I knocked on the door. She jumped when she heard the door, but didn't get up. Instead she peeked out the window, first in the wrong direction, then right at me. Her face lightened up. She tore off the headphones and ran to open the door. "hey there you are. How are things going?" I asked as she gave me a hug. "Are you staying?" She asked, without answering me. "I can't. Is there anyone home?" I asked, looking around. "They're out shopping. . I think. They've been gone for a long time." "I see. Well, they must be due to be back soon. It may not be a good idea for me to be here when they get home. . did you get my note?" She looked at me, puzzled. Oh well, plan A failed. "I guess not. Here, take this." I handed her a card with my number and address on it (i wrote directions on how to get there on the back).

She asked if I was going to take her away, I asked her a serious question. "When you came back, did your uncle hit you again?" I patted her on the shoulder. The expression dropped from her face. Silence. "I need you to answer me. This is for real." She looked up at me, two saddened eyes and said "Y. . . yes. But I didn't do what he told me to! It was my fault." I pat her head gently. "It wasn't your fault, no matter what he said." She tried to smile. I could tell that she was a totally different girl now that that bastard had his hands on her. You all know how it goes, something like talking to someone could change your entire mind about something. And in this girl's case a beating changed her mind. Terrible. She asked again if I was going to come in, and I decided I might as well. The place was not terribly filthy, but it was a dump compared to my place (not to brag). There were beer bottles all over the floor, stains on the carpets, dishes in the sink. It looked like there were burns on the couch (aunt sleeping with cigarettes?) and there even was a hole in the wall.

I only stayed for a little while, but the time we shared was nice. She showed me her room. It was just like I imagined it: tiny bed, a few dolls here and there, and I saw something that caught my eye: A telescope. and it was a nice one. When questioned about the telescope, she gave a an answer that warmed my heart. "My parents were astronomers. We used to look at the sky all the time before. . but now there is a broken piece in it, so I can't use it. It was the only thing that I had that was theirs." I felt like I had to fix this thing, or at least get a new one. No, a new one wouldn't be as special. I had to fix it. "tell you what. I'll take this, and I can get it fixed by tomorrow. deal?" She seemed to like the idea, and said "that would be great!" the sun shined on my insides to see how happy she was. After I told her about everything (I was going to get off my ass and try to get her uncle in trouble) that I had planned, I said my good-bye and dismantled the telescope. Did I tell you that I am an astronomy buff? I recognized her telescope: A high-end Celestron. I broke it down and packed it up in it's bag, making sure to not even put a scratch on it. I told her that she can call me or come over any time she wanted, if she could. I loaded up my car and waved one last time at her. She stood at the window and watched me drive away.

I hope she can find a way to call me when she's feeling lonely or whenever she wants too. But now I have evidence that she has been hit again, straight from the victim's mouth. No, I didn't tear off her clothes and "inspect" her. But I do have a probability that the bastard uncle and aunt will get v&. Hitting a little girl. Man that just disturbs me. So, I've got this broken telescope that I assume has a busted lens. I don't want to let her down, so I'll try my best to get it fixed by tomorrow.

So do you think this makes up for being a cold hearted, 9/11-laughing /b/tard? I hope so.


Hey /b/, it is I. Good news and bad news.

This morning before I went to work, I dropped the telescope off at my cousin's shop. He said that it wouldn't take that long, and at the most it will take a couple of days. He didn't go into what was wrong with it, but I had to go to work anyway. Today was a sort of casual day, and I managed to get the temp (sort of my intern) to take my spot so I could get off of work an hour early, and my boss let me. I called my cousin to check up on the telescope, and he had the parts that we needed on the way. Turns out he knows someone who was an expert at fixing telescopes (I'm sure it wasn't his main profession) and he had a replacement part RTG. Now all he had to do was get it fixed, and that should take a few hours. Things were moving along quicker than I expected. If it all went to plan, I would have her telescope ready for her today but that didn't seem to be enough. So, I made a trip to the mall to get her some books and maybe a new classical CD. I went into a Barnes & Noble and looked around for some astronomy books. I saw a few star chart type books, an Astronomy book for kids, and a book about how to use a telescope (also for kids). I got all three, then made my way to the music shop. There was not a wide selection of classical, but I wanted to get her some more of it since I'm sure she had heard her CD over and over a million times. I got a "best of" CD with a few artists on it.

So now I had an assortment of gifts, and time to kill. I took all my stuff home and started to read one of the books. So nothing happens until around six, when my cousin calls and says "Come by in about a half an hour, I'll have it ready by then". I was surprised how quickly he got it done, but I'm not complaining. So thirty minutes later I drove down there, and sure enough he had it fixed. He said that it was still delicate, and that I shouldn't play around with it. I thanked him, and payed him in full (rather than our discount) for the speedy job. Ok, so soon I would case Juliette's house and if nobody was there I would deliver her telescope, CD's, and books. So I loaded my stuff up and drove down there. The telescope was wrapped up in a bag inside it's case. When I pulled up, I heard sound from inside the house. . bad sound. The aunt and uncle were there for once, and they were arguing. I didn't know what to do, I knew I shouldn't just knock on the door, but I didn't want to leave in case Julie was getting abused in there. So I just sat in my car and waited. Every once in a while I saw someone go past the window, flailing his/her arms around and screaming. I felt like busting in the place and taking her out of there, but I still didn't know if she was involved or not. It was starting to get less light (not dark yet, just less light out), and I knew I couldn't stay for ever. And then, the door slammed open, and the uncle stormed out and got in a beat up old car, and then just drove off. As he was pulling out, the aunt came out and started throwing things at the car and yelling more. I ducked down in my car so they didn't see me.

She then fell down on the ground, and it looked like she hit her head on a stone in the yard. Uh-oh. Thinking of an Alibi just in case, I got out of the car and walked over. I looked to see if she was alright, and she had busted her head pretty bad on a stone. It wasn't cracked open, but there was blood. I asked if she was OK, but she was knocked out cold. I couldn't just leave now. I went inside the house to find a phone (to call the police) when I saw her. She was sitting in a corner, her headphones on and with a pillow being held tightly in her arms. Her eyes were clenched shut and I could see that she had been crying. I walked over to her, and as I approached she clenched more. Until I touched her head. She squealed, then looked up to see me. I had a over coat on, un-buttoned. I cast a shadow over her, so I imagine i looked pretty awesome from her perspective. . I digress. When she saw that it was me, she jumped up and grabbed onto me.

"What happened here?" I asked

"They, they are fighting again. . but it was never like this. ." She said, managing to speak with her throat all choked up from crying.

"Shh, don't cry. It's OK, I'm here." I said, running my finger through her hair.

"Please. . . why can't you take me away?" She asked. "I wish it were that easy. Oh, damn. . I need to call the police, you're aunt hit her head on a stone out there and she looks pretty bad."

She sniffed, and showed me to the phone. So after I called, I went out to the yard to see if she was still alive. She was still knocked out, but was breathing. Julie was standing in the doorway, staring at me. I kind of looked like a hitman the way I was dressed, as pointed out by Julie:

"you look like a killer." she said, mood lightened.

"I do?" I laughed a little, despite the situation.

"well, yeah. Like I saw this movie with a killer in it, and he dressed the same way you did. And of course you're standing in front of a body."

I laughed again. **** her, if she wants to get drunk and smoke around a little girl she deserves to be in this situation.

I remembered the gifts, but decided against giving them to her right now. It just wouldn't be as special. The police showed up, and I told them what I saw. Then they asked Julie what she saw, and she told them. Our stores matched like a puzzle, so I was in the clear. They knew that she would be unable to take care of herself alone at the house (she could, but I don't blame her for saying she can't) so they were going to take her to a foster home or whatever. It was her that brought up the idea: she go with me. I explained to them everything I knew of her situation, and she confirmed it all. I said that I had found her on the street last weekend, and that I turned her into the authorities like I should have. After I said that I could watch her, and they made sure that she wanted to, they told me that as long as we knew each other that It was possible. They just had to take her into the station to get her claim (cases without children aren't like that, they just take what they get from the scene) about what happened once again. so they did, and when it was all said and done, I brought up the fact that she was being abused at home, and that they should get the CSS to investigate her case, and they said that would be a good thing to do. So, I took her home and guess what? I offered her if she wanted to order a pizza, and she told me, and I quote "I hate pizza". I lol'd.

So, after that (I ordered Chinese instead) I showed her my gifts. She was so damn happy, it made me feel like my whole life before that point was worthless. It felt so good to see the light in her eye as I handed her the telescope, CD's, and books. She gave me a big hug, and I put in one of her new CD's in my Bose stereo and we listened to it as I showed her the books I got for us. When our food arrived, we ate it as it started to get dark. She seemed tired, so I pulled out the futon in my study so she could lie down. She's up there sleeping right now, and I'm as happy as possible. I'm just damn lucky that the cops didn't be dicks about it. I'll confess, I told them that I took care of her some times (not a total lie if you think about it) to get them to let me take her, but in the end we're all happy. They would contact me later to tell of how everything is going. So, for tl;dr: got loli's telescope fixed, saved loli from an argument, took loli home, gave loli gifts, loli haet pizza, and I'm living the high life.


Hey /b/, it's me again.

Well, first let me say thank you for all the support. I felt good when my thread was revived at the last moment, and got some good discussion in it. Some time before It died, I went to bed. I fell asleep pretty quickly, and it was a nice deep sleep. But this morning, I woke up with someone in my bed. She had crawled into bed with me some time last night. I didn't really mind, but she startled me when I woke up. I patted her head to see if she was going to wake up soon, and she just stayed right-on sleeping. I felt weird that day, I felt like I didn't want to go to work. I hadn't missed a single day so far all year, and I had some vacation time anyway, so I called my boss and said I was sick. He understood, and hoped I got better. Ok, great, I've got the whole day to spend with her (or at least until they collect her). We spent the day reading out astronomy books, listening to the CD I got her, and talking. We had a heart to heart about the situation, and she broke down with emotions. It's weird, but I felt like Leon. I have known this loli for less than a week, and she's throwing herself all over me like I was her father. And no, I'm not a "cleaner".

So the day went pretty normal. No call from any police or CSS or anything. I didn't think much of it, because we were having fun. I learned some more about her parents: She told me that what she remembers of them is foggy, but she does remember them having a lot of books and being into astronomy. They liked classical music, nice food, and they seemed to live a perfect life. It's ironic that these people could be so perfect (in my eyes) and have such close relatives that were total trash. She also said that they would always go out together and eat at fancy restaurants. Then one day they went out to go to the park together, and while they were on their way (they walked) there were some kind of gang members all out in the street. Then she just remembers gunshots and hiding behind a car while her parents got gunned down. She saids that the police said that it was an un-intentional shooting, and that the gangs were aiming at each other. But, bullets are nasty things to try to control. I almost started crying right there. Imagine: being a little girl, out with your parents on yet another fun day out, and then their lives are over just like that. I'm surprised she managed to remember all that, she was only 4. But I don't underestimate her. But anyway. . . moving onto a lighter topic.

Since there was no call from any organization, we planned on going out and stargazing tonight. I'm sure her telescope is OK to be taken out of it's case now, and I've got a perfect spot to go where we can see the most stars. Even with all the thoughts of sadness, she managed to be as happy as I've ever seen a person. She was happy to know that act two of her life was over, now we were moving into act three. I, myself felt this to be a turning point in my life. Who knows, maybe I'm just overreacting to this. But at least I know she'll never have to go back to the aunt and uncle after what happened, and I'm willing to fight tooth and nail to get her into a better home. And she seems to like my home a lot, so here is where she is destined to be. So, /b/, tonight at around 12 I'm taking her stargazing. I know it seems late, but from what I've seen she won't even mind staying up till three if she wanted to. If anything eventful happens, I'll update you when we return. But I probably won't. See you later /b/. In b4 newfaggish and total irrelevant bashing


Hello again /b/, nice to see you again.

I'm sure I don't have to talk about the whole caturday nap, you all know. It's been since Friday that I gave you an update because of it, and since then some big things have been happening. Pretty much I had her all weekend. Then when Monday came around, I didn't know if I should stay with her or go to work. I ended up letting her stay home alone, and it worked out well. She didn't burn the place down or anything. So Tuesday, I got a call from the police. I'll tell you about all that later. But for now: Saturday. Saturday is the day we went out stargazing at night. And I can tell you, it was magic. I wanted to go Friday night, but I had some at home work to do to make up for me staying home Friday. So we went out at around 11:00 Saturday night, and set up the spot up on Grandview Park. We could see the lights of the city shining right across the river, and sounds of the pine trees rustling and the smell of the wind filled the air. We got unpacked, and set up the telescope. I had a boom box, and I played the CD I bought her quietly as we looked around. The sky wasn't perfect for stargazing, but you could see quite a bit. But I really didn't care about the stars. I just cared about looking back down at her beaming smile. She was so damn happy, I don't think anything could ruin it. We found Polaris, a few constellations, and just looked around. I was having a lot of fun too. But this was her night, a chance to feel like her life meant something and to show her that there was still good in the world. She started feeling hungry, so we unpacked our (you guessed it) sammiches from a Deli. She ate hers quickly, and I just enjoyed mine. We started talking some more about her life at school.

She says that when she goes to school, she isn't very popular. She doesn't have many friends, they all think she's crazy. She does well from what I've heard, but she never goes because her damn uncle never would take her in, and there is a long walk to there and back. Poor girl. So we talked for most of the time, wile just looking up at the sky. It was very nice, and there was a feeling that I don't think I've ever felt before. But I won't get all wishy washy on you, I know how you are. So anyway, we went home late at around 1:30 or so, and I crashed in my bed, as did she on her futon. But the next morning, I woke up with a little body in my bed. I didn't mind. For the rest of the weekend, we mostly just sat around and listened to music and read. I showed her some of my favorite bands, including The Coral, New Pornographers, and REM. She seemed to like most of it, but it was hard explaining the name of The New Pornographers to her. She especially liked Sing Me Spanish Techno (by TNP), that was funny, I've always loved that song too. Then Monday came, I left her with my house at her disposal and it's needless to say that she (as well as Sing Me Spanish Techno) was on my mind all day. I came home to find her at my computer. gee, let's hope she didn't find my porno stash, eh? Hehe. I asked her if she's ever used a computer before, and she told me what I assumed. No, she's never even seen one except at school. So I kind of showed her around and things. She took an interest in it and that made me happy. So now she'll either grow up to be an astronomer or a computer-using something. Computer skills are becoming a necessity, after all.

That night, I took her out to a, Italian restaurant. I kind of wanted to teach her some table manners and the like, but we mostly just talked about other things. When we got home, I introduced her to the crazy laugh-thirsty tickle monster! I know, it's corny and may even sound perverted, but come on, she's a kid. Kid like tickles, right? Oh well, she liked it at least. She got her bath as I lie down in bed with my book. She came in just before I was going to go to sleep. I asked her what she needed, and she wanted to lay down with me. "well, you might as well. You seem to end up here in the morning anyway." I showed her the book I was reading, and eventually she fell asleep. As did I. So Monday morning, I got some news. It turns out that the drunk bastard uncle was found crashed into a tree in the ****ing cemetery. He didn't die (damn it) but he had to get treated for trauma/whiplash whatever doctors invent to get your money. The aunt was OK, but needed stitches and things, but would also survive. The officer told me about the rules, and said that they have evidence that the house is not a good place to raise a child, and that she would be sent to the next of kin or a foster home. I mentioned that if she was sent someplace, if I could adopt her. He said, like always, that it wasn't his business. I asked what she was going to do now, and he said that for the time being, I'm the safest and most efficient place for her to be. He said "Make sure she goes to school and brushes her teeth, and you should be fine" That's right, School. Well, she was fully capable of going to school now, it's just that I'm not sure if it would be better to start her off after Christmas or right now, or what. I talked to her about it, and she didn't really mind going, it's just that she hadn't gone in so long.

So that's still undecided. We spent the day walking/jogging around the neighborhood. I also bought her some new clothes. So, that's what's going on with me, /b/. I know it will get saged by a bunch of newfags who don't appreciate what I'm doing for /b/. But hopefully I'll pick a time to post this where several of my 'fans' are on. And by fans I mean people who don't sage because they are dumb nigger kids who can't read. And for all of them tl;dr: **** you, read it yourself


Hey /b/. They still have not taken her, and today something special happened. When I went out to the shopping stores to buy her some new clothes, she said "I love you, Bry." (Bry = Brian) I looked to her and said. "I love you too, Julie. You know that." Then she hit me with a brick: "No, I mean I love you love you." I just had to start laughing. She seemed disappointed "I'm not laughing at you, it's just that that whole idea is funny. I mean, I'm way older than you. I won't even discuss it." So, we dropped it. Until we got home. "About what I said before. I mean it. I never felt this way before." "Of course you haven't, you're only 9 years old, Julie." I was unpacking her new coat and shoes. "But, that doesn't mean I cant be in love." She was eating some cookies and drinking milk while I did all the unpacking. Lazy girl. "Heh, I know what you're saying. But it's not like that. I've been so nice to you, you think you're IN LOVE with me. But, be reasonable here." "I guess. Do you think I was worth it?" I paused and looked at her. "I mean, you didn't have to do this. You could have left me on the street that day." I went over to her and patted her head. "You know, without you, my life wouldn't be half as enjoyable. Of course you are. I'm so glad that I was out there that day, you know." She cheered up a lot when I said that. Then I just had to pull out some sneaky tickles on her, and she laughed and laughed. So everything was still OK. I knew she would approach me like that sooner or later, it was a bit sooner than I expected.

But anyway, I didn't care. Right now I have some music playing, I'm watching some TV on my computer, and she's eating some fried chicken. Nope, she's not black either.

So guys, that's it. And note that I don't intend on turning /b/ into some faggy blog, I'll only tell you about important stuff after this. Seeing as I know it's imminent that I get to keep her and everything, things will gradually get less and less exciting. So, did I do the right thing? I think I did. but after all this is /b/, you're going to say I should have poopered her. tl;dr: Learn to read, faggots.


Hello /b/, it is me again.

ust wanted to fill you guys in on everything: From the looks of it, she'll never leave me. Nobody has called after the first time, nobody stopped by, nothing. But I can't complain. I've enjoyed having her around and I know she enjoys all the things I'm doing for her. I took her out to buy some new clothes, and she really liked shopping for them. And about what happened the other day, when she said she was in love with me. It's the classic case of a girl who was mistreated before, and treated well by a guy, and so naturally her response is to love that guy. Watch Leon, you'll see. And no, I don't drink nothing but milk, and I'm not a cleaner. It's also interesting to note that she has taken an interest in jumping on my computer when I'm away. She never does anything, but I showed her where the music and pictures were. I guess I'll have to teach her how to use a computer now. But there's nothing wrong with teaching them things early, in fact it's better. Especially in a situation like hers where she's more likely to listen to me than anyone else. So anyway, I just wanted to give you guys an idea of what it's like here. In b4 faggots telling me to go to a blog site. tl;dr: learn to read.


Hey /b/. I know you all hate me, because I'm doing you all a favor by sharing my story with you all, and I'm sure you'll all want another Slowpoke combo thread, or a "rate my cawk" thread, or a nice WHEN I WAS. . . But I haven't told you about anything recently, so I might as well make a short update for those of you that care. Juliette has been sick lately. I mean, really sick. I took her into the doctors office, and he just gave us some anti-biotics and recommended sleep. I could have told her to sleep. . . It's about 45 degrees right now, and my heater isn't working. I had to get out an old space heater, only to have it start smoking. I knew it did that, but Julie insisted I took it away from her ASAP. So It's pretty cold in my house right now, and that isn't a good thing when you're running a fever. So all of last week and over the weekend we didn't do anything fun, we didn't go out or anything but rather just stayed in inside to fight back the sickness. I'm starting to get worried, I may take her to a hospital to see if she has some kind of illness that's more than just a simple flu. So after this thread gets saged to death by assholes, I'm going to go to sleep with her. I don't mind if I get sick, just as long as she feels safe and comfortable.


Hey it's Romeo-san, back from the dead like the great phoenix. Changes at 4chan? That's pretty irrelevant, but it's been a long time since I've been here. Anyway, Juliette has come over her illness and is the happy girl she once was. I've met a woman whom I'm quite smitten with. I met her in the waiting room of the clinic (on our last visit) when she asked me "is this your daughter?" I didn't know what to tell her, so I just explained it all. She thought it was sweet what I was doing, and we started talking.

Since then, we've gone out to eat and I had her over at my place. No secks yet fellas, but I've got a feeling that I'm in love. That's pretty good, since if we get together there is a better chance that I'm keeping Juliette for ever. So anyway /b/, if anyone cares, I'm still alive. And if you don't care, you can go back to your fake CP threads and the furry bullshit soon, I doubt this thread will go long un-saged. Also, someone IMed me saying that a bunch of people drew Juliette for me. Is this so?


Hello Wikichan, I'm black yall, I'm blacker than black yall, and I'm black yall and I'm black yall, I'm black and I'm back. I've received lots of IM's and Emails saying that I shouldn't quit writing updates, most of which were quite convincing. So I've decided to come back, at least to Wikichan for now. The maybe 4 people on /b/ who like me live in different time zones, and my threads are usually missed by people who care. So anyway, I have a couple big events to update about: Christmas and New Years First of all, Christmas:

Two days before Christmas, me and Julie went out to get a tree. Since I waited so long to even think about getting a tree, there were barely any places in town where I could get one. Me and her decided to call it quits and return home. But then on the way home, she yelled "Look! There's a bunch of trees!", pointing at a roadside stand that had a couple trees left. We pulled up, and I started chatting with the owner of the place while Julie looked for a nice tree. The guy was the biggest Christian I've ever met. Every two words were either "the good lord" or "Jesus" and long strings of words such as "The good lord helped get us these glorious trees!" and such. Juliette was taking her sweet time picking out a tree she liked, and I just wanted to get out of there as this guy was prying into my personal life. "So what church do you attend, sir?" he asked. "I... uhh, whoa look at that Spyder!" I responded, pointing to a Chevrolet SS. "That car sure does look nice. The guy takes good care of it." I said, keeping the subject off religion as much as I could. I only did this because I didn't want to offend the guy and make him refuse to sell us a tree, since he was the last guy in the whole state of Pennsylvania who was selling Christmas Trees. I am a strong Atheist, and I hate it when people like this guy assume everyone is as Christian as Christ. If this guy starts preaching to me, I swear to god th- OOPS CAN'T SAY THAT LOL.

Anyway, Julie finally called out to me that she found a pretty tree, and I just payed for it and left. While I loaded it up on top of my car, I tossed the rope over the top of it to Julie to feed back to me. It hit her right in the face. Do'h! And as me and this little girl struggled to tie a tree to a tiny cat in the freezing wind, this asshole sat in his little tent with a cup of coffee and a space heater. So we finally managed to tie it on, and as we got in the car to leave, the guy came over and said "The lord bless you two on this wonderful Christmas holiday! I'll keep you in my prayers!" with a goody goody face. "Yeah? Well, actually I've never been fond of magic and parlor tricks." I said. I know, I'm no good at coming up with snappy one-liners... ... it made Julie laugh.

So after that, everything went pretty well. Christmas finally came around, and my brother came in from Boston. He didn't know about Juliette until this point. When he showed up at my doorstep with a bottle of champagne and a giftbox: "So uh... who's this little lady?" he asked in a tone that made me laugh. "Her name's Juliette, I kidnapped her." I said, taking the bottle of champagne and walking back into the house. He just stood there, with a look of "ok... wait wut?" on his face. The two met, and he was still a bit freaked over the fact that I had a 'daughter' around. But enough of this, it was time to open gifts. Juliette made me a clay model of my house with two vaguely human shaped blobs out front, one taller than the other. She was proud. In return, I got her a new dress (ultra kawaii desu ne) a new coat (a long, green duster type thing) and a few new books. She was overjoyed. My brother Peter got me "the gold box" that included: The Orange Box, a new hard drive, and a packet of mints. Thank you, Peter. he also brought a card from my sister Clarice. Overall it was a normal, nothing special Christmas. Juliette helped make dinner, and I burnt the rolls ;_;

Now, more currently, Something weird did happen two days after Christmas: Me and Julie went out to do some shopping, and she wore her new dress (super kawaii desu ne~) with ribbons in her hair (uber moe kawaii~~). While we were looking around at some shops, I began to notice some nigra was following us around. He wasn't being very subtle either, walking behind us in plain sight, and whenever we went into a shop he would wait outside at the door. He looked like he was a crack addict, and I began to fear he was going to try to snatch Julie when we left the shops. So I instructed her to keep walking after a bit, as I turned around to confront the guy. As soon as I turned around, he stopped and ran off. Pussy? I think yes. I'm not even tough looking at all. But anyway, I became the big hero of the day, and Julie remains unsnatched.

For New Years eve, me and Julie pretty much did our usual routine, except we watched the ball drop (or slowly lower, either one) at midnight. Shortly before, I explained the whole "kissing at midnight" deal to her. She jokingly referred to it as the "pervert tradition", to that I said "Like it's worse than mistletoe?". And if you're all wondering, yes, she did kiss me at midnight. Then after that, we went back to watching Neon Genesis Evangelion. Speaking of that, she's actually quite a little fan of that show. I can't say I'm not either. I think I'm going to bring her up as a living version of Konata. Anyway, animu aside, things are going pretty well. I've made it a point to get in contact with some kind of authority some time next week. Let's hope it all goes well. But since this all began, it's just been a free ride of fun and unoficiallity. But my chances are pretty good: I've got a good job, a clean criminal record, a nice house in a great neighborhood, a bit of money, and all of her family ties have been severed. I'm the only one she wants to be with. Uh... actually, she'd live with Jake too... but that's irrelevant. So Jake, if you're reading this, I have made my homage to you. I took the image down due to some personal reasons.


Hello everyone, Romeo-san here. Well, I finally got off my lazy ass and called CPS. I can't really say anything happened that I didn't expect, but it still does hurt a little. It all started when several of the people who IM me frequently said that I need to get in gear and make a call. I decided, well, they are right, so I'm going to do it this week. I told Juliette what was going on, and she seemed shocked that I would ever take the risk of losing her again. I told her that this had to happen, and we've had a free ride for long enough. I won't describe everything that happened in full detail, but I will fill you all in. I made the call when I got home from work, while Julie was still at my cousin's shop (where she stays while I'm at work). They pulled up some records, and found that they meant to check up on everything, but it got lost along with many other cases. They pretty much told me that nothing was wrong, but they were going to send in an agent to do an inspection of the place to make sure that I wasn't mistreating her. This was all fine, I bet my place is better than many of the agents' homes. Anyway, they also required her to go into some kind of psychoanalysis to make sure there was no abuse or anything 'naughty' going on.

This was all Friday, and they scheduled this all for today. She's currently being evaluated in their offices, and later today (around 3:00) she'll be done and they'll bring her back to my house, where they will evaluate my living conditions. If all goes well, they'll let me keep her for the trial period, where they will pop in for visits a couple times a week unannounced to see what it's like behind the doors. Then, if they like what they see, they can get the adoption sequence going. So things are going pretty damn good for me. I'll write more once I get her back to my place, and after the agent leaves (obviously). On a side note, the Aunt died a couple days ago, and the uncle is serving life for drug, weapon, and child abuse charges. So the window is wide open, and things look good. When told of their fate, Juliette responded by saying "Really? Awesome!" or something to that effect.


Hello everyone, high spirits for all. Juliette was brought back to my house a little while after the last thread. The agent that came with her was a big, black dude who seemed to find everything either terribly interesting or terribly funny. Juliette jumped out of the car and ran up to my front porch to give me a big hug. The agent came up and introduced himself as Jim. He actually wasn't a bad guy. But, as I expected, he was condescending and noteful about everything I said. I showed him around the house, and he was pretty impressed that I keep such a nice place. He then saw my leaky sink. The faucet on that sink has been bothering me for days, I tighten it, but it just gets leaky again. So now whenever the water is off, it sprays a mist into the air. This was one of his only complaints, other than the fact that she doesn't have a bed. Well, she does. And it's a nice futon. But apparently, children need triple queen sized canopy beds to survive. No matter, it will do. I also said that Bridget is moving in at the end of the month. This made him quite pleased.

He didn't really interview me much, and said that they save that for when I get my adoption interview. So, the future looks pretty good. I'm well on my way to adopting her. I'd like to thank everyone who IM'd me with support/information to help me along the way, and to everyone who didn't sage my threads for being too long. More to come soon.


Hi all. I write this early in the day, as something terrible and a bit disturbing happened. It all started when, this morning, my cousin wasn't at work, and it turns out he had a terrible cold, and couldn't work. So, no big deal, she'll be fine alone for a while, she's done it before. So I take her back home (and begin to run late for work) and provide her with any emergency numbers she could possibly not need. So things were going pretty well, I got to work a bit late, but nothing too bad. Then, I got a call at the front desk. It was Juliette. She was kind of frantic, saying (or yelling) that I needed to get home right away. She said (yelled) that there were ambulances and fire trucks outside, and that it was big trouble. So, naturally I didn't bother to go back to the office to get my coat and ran out the door, telling the secretary that I'd be back. When I got to the house, sure enough, there the whole ES of Pittsburgh was outside the house. I began thinking "oh holy Christ, I'm a ****up" while walking towards the scene. A paramedic held me back when I tried to get into the house, but I said I lived here and I needed to get to my daughter. So after some more ruckus, it was revealed that my neighbor had died of a heart attack. I was still a bit shaken up from the whole "little girl left alone at home screaming for me to come home" deal, but after a while what happened began to sink in. Juliette was freaking the **** out, that's for sure. I don't think she blinked or opened her mouth for about an hour after that...

Anyway, my good friend Peter died. He was a nice guy, actually. And the only reason I didn't let him watch Julie is that he was 56 years old. Apparently, the meals on wheels lady came up to the house as usual and after knocking for five minutes, she barged in to find him lying in the living room. It's a shame, he was the kind of wily old dude that everyone adores. So anyway... I went back in to work and everyone was waiting for me, eyes wide open and ready for bad news. They all knew that it was Julie who called me. They were all worried that something bad had happened, since because of my whole situation I'm the big popular guy on my floor. I guess she called the company front desk for some reason, and she secretary said that she yelled "WHERE IS BRIAN!? THIS IS AN EMERGENCY I NEED TO TALK TO BRY RIGHT NOW!" I told everyone that it was just a misunderstanding, but I still needed to leave work for the day. I actually didn't need to, but I liked the feeling of being home during the day, so here I am.

I'm reading her Les Miserables (full and unabridged) and she's getting pretty into it. I skipped most of it to get to the good part: Cosette. When I think about it, Julie is Cosette, and I am Jean. Although I'm not 55 years old, and I've never been to prison. Her French lessons are coming along well, by the way.


Hey Wikichan. Pretty fun today, regardless of some bad news, more on that later. Peter's funeral was today. I think that it's a bit sudden, and I think it has something to do with his family moving away this week or something. Either way, Julie and I attended her first funeral. To be honest, I was fully expecting some sort of crazy happenings, so it's no surprise that a minor little thing happened. Now, I knew peter like an uncle. I knew that he was a rock solid atheist bastard who got a boner from Darwin. But as soon as I walked up to the steps(!) of the church it was being held at, a pastor started preaching to me before I even walked in the door. He said something like "Lord bless us on this tragic day, and the same to you, little lady!" and tried to reach down and pat Julie's shoulder. I sort of pushed his hand away from her, and gave him a look like 'gtfo n00b' and walked in. There weren't that many people there, just his family and most of my neighborhood. Here's what I had with me: My eulogy, a pamphlet they gave our stating "finding god is easy when you've got nowhere else to go", and a CD I made with one song on it. What song? I'll give you some hints; it was written by a 14 year old. Give up? None other than Suicide Is Painless. Or as some of you know it as, the theme song to MASH. I knew how much Peter loved that show (being a Korea veteran and all) I was going to play it. I figured it would bring everyone to tears. Anyway, we got our seats and I unpacked all of my things. Julie was already fidgeting in her hard wooden seat. Now, many of you may be thinking I'm some ignorant atheist scumbag, but to be honest I don't mind religion. I just hate it when it gets shoved down everyone's throats. And this particular occasion saw much of this. Peter never bought into the whole Christianity thing, and he actually hated it. It kind of made my stomach churn to see all of these Christian themes in a funeral of an Atheist. And if you want to know, I'm going to raise Julie to be whatever she wants. She doesn't even know of my views on religion, so hopefully she'll grow into a free-minded individual and not a sheep. I digress.

It was over an hour later when the actual funeral started. I had read my "finding god is easy when you've got nowhere else to go" pamphlet several times now, as well as procured a strong hatred to Suicide Is Painless having listened to it almost five trillion times. The seats still didn't fill up much, and I could only recognize about ten people. Most of his 'beloved family' were chattering on their cell phones and to each other, and that pissed me right off. Peter wasn't a saint, but he didn't deserve to be ignored like this. A church organ started playing to single all of us to shut up, and everyone did... except for his nieces/nephews with their cell phones. I'll spare you all the ho-hum and proceedings and jump right into my eulogy. I was one out of maybe three people to actually deliver one (the other two were his daughter and one of the neighbors). When I got up to go to the podium, Julie (loudly) said "GOOD LUCK BRY DON'T PEE YOUR PANTS UP THERE". I figured this much, and it was hard to contain my laughter. I manged to get up there without peeing my pants, and I signaled to Julie to behave. I started off simple, and then began to say that Peter wouldn't have wanted all of this religion intruding into his afterlife, but quickly went on to avoid any nasty eyes. I had the CD in the tape player ready to play, with my hand on the remote to control it. I wanted to end mine (the last one) special, so as soon as I said the closing words, I would press play and start the song playing. Things went pretty well, and the opening started. I looked out across all of the mildly sad faces, to see that the song had NO EFFECT ON ANYONE. NOBODY even blinked! It was if they did not pick up on the horrible sadness that should spill upon them! It did kind of bring me to tears, and Julie saw this and started crying as well. But I think we were the only two people in the whole church who gave a shit about Peter. I silently walked back to my seat after the song finished, ashamed and angry.

Then came the open casket ceremony. Oh boy, another chance for Julie to mess it all up. I asked her "Would you like to wait here, or go see him?" "Who?" she asked "Peter.." "DIDN'T HE DIE OF A HEART ATTACK OR SOMETHING?" (facepalm.jpg) She decided to come along, and she took a big, long look at him. I had to shove her forward to keep the line moving. I left a carnation at the casket.

Everything pretty much went on normally from there. I left the funeral pretty angry, and on the way home Julie had to take the blunt of my anger. "What are these peoples' problems?! This man served in Korea, and nobody even cares about him!? You met him, he was a nice guy, wasn't he?" "Hmm...? Oh, sure..." She said.

I was silent the rest of the ride.

I'd also like to take this time to mention that a dear friend of mine (Julie's 'uncle') has found out that his mother has cancer spreading through her body. I'd just like to say that he and her are in my thoughts as I write this, and I hope that many of you readers can keep them in your thoughts/prayers. Thank you.


Good evening, reader your honor! Wikichan will plainly show the prisoner, who now stands before you, was caught red handed showing feelings! Showing feelings of an almost human nature... This will not do. CALL THE CPS! I make such light of such serious subjects. Lots of things have been happening. Erika bashing in her head, my friend and his mom's cancer, Peter dying, his loving daughter chewing me out for 'causing a scene', and 'Jim' trying his hardest to find fault. They made a visit to my place while I was at work. Luckily, I took Julie to my cousin's shop, or CPS would have a hissy about me leaving her home. He left a note on the door for me to give him a call, so I did. He said that he would be over in "ezahctla teh minus" to take a peek inside. He also said that it was a good thing that I had a job.. hah.

When he finally arrived, he brought with him some chick who I assumed to be a girl counselor or psychologist. She introduced herself (or rather Jim introduced her) as Carol. I had Cat Stevens playing inside, and Julie was listening to it and eating some dinner. The moment Carol walked in, she recognized this as "hippy muisc". Oh laaawwdd, she seemed like a bitch. Jim seemed to like it, though. "Thah guy has ah pretteh vouice". Anyway, I turned the music off so we could have a chat. Carol said that she was here to make sure that nothing was happening to Julie while she was in my care, and Jim came by default, being the agent assigned to her case. Carol asked if she could talk to Julie in private, or rather she demanded so. The way she came off, it seemed like it was her life's goal to make the process as difficult and sad for everyone involved. She took Julie by the hand, and nearly dragged her into the kitchen. Me and 'Jim' got to talking, and he said that I had very good chance of adoption, but I would have to get her a proper bed. I tried reasoning with him that she's happy on her futon, but nogo. So I need to go out and buy her a queen sized bed. Hah.

He interviewed me some more, asking the normal stuff. Do you drink? Do you smoke? Have you ever taken any illegal substances? Do you posses pornography? The last one was a bit of a shocker. I managed to answer truthfully 'no'. When asked if it really mattered, he said that he has seen a lot of times where a girl is getting adopted and the father owns pornography in physical form, she gets ahold of it, and the Electra sets in. That reminds me, Julie is showing more and more a bad case of Electra Complex. She's too smart to tell CPS that she has feelings for me, but I can tell that she's got something in her mind. I don't blame her, and these feelings are all normal since 1: I'm not her real father 2: I rescued her from a living hell 3: I've been so good to her 4: I'm the only person she's around most of the time (excepting my cousin). If you were a confused girl, and all this happened to you, you would feel the same way. Something has to be done, however, as I don't plan on perusing a v& just to make her happy. I'm sure that once she gets into the outside world, she'll change her mind about me being 'the only guy for her' and meet other boys her age. Ahh, young love in the Season in the Sun.

Back to the meeting. Things went on for about an hour, then the agents got their things and started to leave. Carol showed me the results of Julie's shake-down... interview and it said what I had known already. I noticed that Julie was crying a little, so I made sure to get them out the door in a hurry to see what was wrong. Once I managed to get some time alone with her, I perused it. I asked her what was wrong, and why she was upset. She sniffled and told me "The lady asked me if you ever hit or touched me..." "Well I never did, so what's the matter?" I asked, patting her head. "Well, she asked me about my bad uncle... and she made me talk about the things he did." With that, she actually started crying.

I gave her a hug and told her to forget all about those times. You see, these agents do not care about the child. They don't care if they make the child reenact what abuse came onto them, they don't care if they make them describe it in full detail. Even if it makes a little girl cry. This would be the first time she's had to remember these times for a while. And there are many things that happened that you all are not aware of. I'm not really comfortable disclosing this here, and I doubt it was any easier for her to keep a cheerful disposition when that bitch Carol was grilling her like that. That's the update for today, I'm off.

And also, I still have my friend in my thoughts, and I hope that you, you total strangers, can find it in your hearts to keep him and her in your thoughts.

In lighter news, I've also found out that another one of my AIM friends has been inspired by my story and has taken up full responsibility of his niece. It makes me feel good that he's been so turned on by my story that he has someone to love now. But if he wants you all to know of his life, let him post.



Hello, hello, hello! Friday was a wonderful day, indeed! The reading of Peter's will has been pushed back to this afternoon. He said that he left me something nice, so I can't wait to find out what it is. Bridget (nor a tarp) moved all of her stuff into my house Friday. And as a bonus, she was nice enough to come with it. Now, so far Julie hasn't tried to rip Bridget's eyes out, but so far they've only been together for a little while. They've spent longer periods of time together than this, and I'm going to have to see how things turn out in the days to come. Let's all hope/pray that Julie doesn't go batshit insane on us.

Bridget brought a mattress, and this will get turned into Julie's new bed. Along with it, she brought her PC, and a laptop. So pretty much I'm swimming in joy right now. Julie can't put down the laptop, and we're thinking of putting her PC in the basement. It's not a very big basement, but there sure as hell isn't anything in there. So now I've gotten my life's goal: a family. I'm so happy I can hardly count. We all stayed up pretty late last night (it being a good Friday and all) so I'm the only one awake. We slept in the same bed together, all cuddled up and warm. I looked into the bedroom a couple minutes ago, and Julie is all snuggled up to Bridget, and vice versa. I've got a feeling everything is gonna be OK.

Making a short update now, because there probably will be another one later today.


Hello again, idiorts and morans. I left you all wondering what I would receive in Peter's will. And now I'm here to tell of the reading. I left Julie with Bridget while I went to the reading. His daughter, her husband and their kids showed up. Along with the meals on wheels lady who found him dead and I guess one of his buddies from Korea. I felt a bit out of place here, not knowing anyone here, and also being the only one who cared. Actually, his buddy cared a lot about him. He had all the standard POW*MIA attire on. While we waited for the thing to get underway, me and him talked for a while. The guy actually was pretty cool. He had even more stories than Peter did.

I'll spare you all the story, but he was in Peter's outfit. They served in the same basic camp in Virginia, and shipped out together. They had their run of trials, and formed a big friendship. It turns out that he moved to Virginia after the war, and heard about Peter dying, so he bought a train ticket to get up here ASAP. He wasn't at the funeral for obvious reasons, but if he got here before he would have attended. As he told me more, one of the kids there asked him if he ever shot someone. Ugh...

Eventually, a lawyer came in to start the whole thing. I'll save what I was cut to the end, but his Korea buddy got all of his old army memorabilia. The daughter received the estate (that was entitled to her anyway) and his prized hunting rifle to pass onto her kids. He requested that all the furniture remain in the family, so they got that too. What did I get out of all this? I'll tell you. Peter's most emotionally charged items: the whole series of MASH on DVD. That was it. Obviously it wasn't what I expected, but I started crying. There were some other things there, but I'll spare you all.

So I got home, carrying all the episodes of MASH on DVD, with moist eyes. Needless to say, we're all watching MASH on DVD tonight.


Well hell everyone. You remember that kid, the little girl... J.. Julie, Julie is her name. Well, her last name has changed Sunday. Her name is now Juliette K. Fretton. And if you dumbasses don't understand, I have adopted her fully and 100%. I'll spare all the boring details and say that they summoned Julie, Bridget and I to the office to get our last interviews and have our case tried. Once again, they made sure Julie was happy where she was, and did a background check on Bridget. We were brought forward to the big-man adoption judge and we were deemed "appropriate parents for the minor in question" and badda-bing badda-boom she's ours. My sister just flew in from Stockholm (boy are her arms tired) and she brought Jake (nephew), and dragged Pete (brother not the dead guy) over to have a little fiesta.

When everyone arrived, Julie was very shy. Almost so shy as to make your mind explode due to an overload of cuteness. Jake brought Gaytar Queero and his ****ing Wii over. Little did he know I had a Wii already, along with four Wiimotes. "Oh sweet you got a freakin' Wii!" I let Bridget and Julie talk to everyone for awhile as I did some work on my computer, and talked to some AIM buddies at the same time. Julie eventually came running into my computer area, and hugged me saying that she didn't like all the strangers (AwwWWWww). Soon, however, Bridget dragged us out from our sneaky hole of computer mayhem and hang out with my lame family. I'll introduce you all: My sister - Valarie: She is a sort of globe trekker, having never been in the same country for more than a month. My brother - Pete: He's a pretty cool guy. eh has old wine and doesnt afraid of anything. My nephew - Jake (or Jordan wtf): A typical teenager who plays Guitar Hero and is probably some sort of Internet junkie (YTMND, ED, SA, or 4ch0n).

So anyway, my sister took to Julie like they were a long lost daughter/mother pair. Pete was apathetic of her, and Jake seemed to obsess himself over her. I mean, any time he got a chance he was right next to her. When she was sitting on the couch, he even came up and sat right next to her, and put his damn arm around her. He's 16 years old, and I don't see much of a problem about it, but for some reason it just made me a little flustered. Anyway, I was sure there would be no raep in my house.

He also forced everyone to play Guitar Hero with him. It's like he didn't get the message that nobody gave a shit but him, and he somehow neglected to understand that we were all adults. Well, Julie was far from being an adult, but she still didn't give a shit. He made her play him, and if he didn't make it the hardest ****ing Dragonfarce song in the game, she would have beaten his ass. Being a man who can play a real guitar, I had some problems holding a two foot plastic guitar that weighs as much as my keyboard. So back to the main story, we had a little family reunion. My parents were down in goddamned Florida, but otherwise they'd have visited as well. They've seen a couple photos of me and her, and are dying to meet her. We just visited for the night, Bridget made up a big platter of stuff for us to eat, and I held a toast. It went something like this.

  • fixes a sandwich, then holds it up*

"I'd like to propose a toast to my new daughter Julie, and to John Montagu, because without him, none of this would have happened!"

They stayed the night, and are still here, supposedly leaving later tonight. Things are going good here, and I'm happy to say that I've finally formed a family. It may be made up of an adopted daughter and a girlfriend, but it's a family no less. And for those who are keeping tabs, I've begun to read her Marius.


Hey everyone. Well, I've got some good news. Neighbors have moved into the house next door. Neighbors from China. Actually, they came here from Baltimore, but originally they are from China. I met and talked to them when Julie and I went out for a jog this morning. The dad works down at the water company, and the mom is some kind of cosmetic surgeon. They have at least one son aged 19-21 and in College. Also, they have two young girls, one who looks younger than Julie and one who is right around her age. But I'm not sure if there are any others. They seem like good people, and I'm glad that there are some friends for Julie, especially this close.

I can't wait until I host loli sleepovers. Julie can have fun in her own house, while I get to sit back and bask in my blissful chair of pure joy and fatherhood.

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