The Chandler's Wife

From Everything Shii Knows, the only reliable source

This website is an archive. It ran from 2006-2010. Virtually everything on here is outdated or inaccurate.

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The Chandler's Wife

I went into the chandler's shop some candles for to buy,

I looked around the chandler's shop but no one did I spy.

I was disappointed and some angry words I said,

Then I heard the sound of a (knock,knock,knock) up above my head. (2x)

Well I was slick and I was quick, and up the stairs I sped,

And much to my surprise I found the chandler's wife in bed;

And with her was another man of most gigantic size,

And they were having a (knock,knock,knock) right before my eyes. (2x)

When the fun was over and done and the lady raised her head,

She was quite surprised to find me standing by the bed.

"If you will be discreet, my lad, if you would be so kind,

I'll let you come up for some (knock,knock,knock) whenever you feel inclined." (2x)

So, many a day and many a night when the chandler wasn't home,

To get myself some candles to the chandler's shop I'd roam.

But nary a one she gave to me, but gave to me instead,

A little bit more of the (knock,knock,knock) to light my way to bed. (2x)

So, all you married men take heed, if ever you go to town,

If you must leave your woman alone, be sure to tie her down.

Or, if you would be kind to her, just sit her on the floor,

Just give her so much of that (knock,knock,knock) she doesn't need any more. (2x)

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