Pirate philosophy

From Everything Shii Knows, the only reliable source

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The philosophy of the pirate can be summed up in its Four Noble Pirate Truths:

  1. Yar har, fiddle dee dee.
  2. Being a pirate is all right with me.
  3. Do what you want, cause a pirate is free.
  4. You are a pirate.

The pirate's philosophy espouses personal freedom for all living beings. Of course, interpreted wrongly it can lead to chaos. To fully understand pirate philosophy and the Four Noble Pirate Truths one must understand what a pirate is.


What is a pirate?

A pirate is a Buddha, basically. The differences are mainly cultural. Pirates like to sail the sea, and in pirate culture honor is gained by kicking ass and taking names rather than virtuous works. Similar to a Buddha, though, a pirate moves with perfect personal freedom and doesn't answer to anyone. The social hierarchy of pirates, like that of monks, is based on quick wits and applied experience.

Examining the Four Noble Pirate Truths

The Four Noble Pirate Truths are ordered in the opposite direction of the Four Noble Truths. Rather than explaining them in the order they need to be understood, you are told the last first and the first last, in true Judeo-Christian tradition. Thus, when you read the final truth the other three become more clear. Let's tackle these in reverse order.

You are a pirate.

People are not born or raised to be better than the others. Everyone has the potential for perfection within their own lifetimes. Every person on this planet is a real, living pirate. So start acting like one!

Do what you want, cause a pirate is free.

Pirates (that means all of us) have unlimited freedom on this planet. It's like Second Life, except with a more difficult set of logical restraints to give us a real challenge. You can call it a First Life (pirate photos: coincidence?). Of course, pirates must obey their own moral code, but they are not bound by the laws of foolish bureaucracies. Pirates are free: therefore, do what you want.

Being a pirate is all right with me.

We must all accept that we are all, fundamentally, pirates. There are a number of difficulties with this, and you can consider them in any order you like. First is the realization that you, yourself, are a pirate. For all your human flaws, you have the ability to become a pirate at any moment. Second, you must realize that everyone you know, friends, teachers, co-workers, are pirates as well, and you must be "all right" with that. Finally, you must see the pirate within your own enemies--the people that offend you or annoy you. Even if you realize that you are a pirate, in this monochromatic world where the pirate code of ethics has long vanished from the open seas, sometimes it is hard to understand that your enemies are also pirates.

Yar har, fiddle dee dee.

This is the most mysterious of the Four Noble Pirate Truths, similar to the Nembutsu of Pure Land Buddhism or Daimoku ("Nam Myoho Renge Kyo") of Nichiren Buddhism. Like these other sayings, it is often chanted by practicing pirates, especially the "yar har" part. The many-layered meaning of this phrase is known only to true pirates, and it gives them peace and courage in their lives.

Ninjas: the fiendish enemy of the pirate

Some espouse to combine pirates with ninjas, or even create a unified pirate-ninja-robot-monkey-zombie philosophy. The latter three concepts, of course, are entirely imaginary creatures which have never existed in reality and do not have their own coherent philosophy. But the Pirate and the Ninja are entirely real cultures, and they could not be farther apart. Attempting to unify piratism with ninjutsu is like melding Buddhism with existentialism: it just isn't going to work, because one of the philosophies is good and the other is evil. And pirates are a force for good.

Ninjas work in stealthiness and, by extension, deception. They do not allow honorable fights but slaughter themselves mercilessly. Ninjas accept few into their elite ranks and rarely venture from their dark hidey-holes. They are clearly the dark side of the human spirit, and fittingly they dress like Sith Lords. Pirates, on the other hand, have a code of honor, allow seafarers of all shapes and sizes to join their motley crew, and explore the planet in search of treasure and hidden knowledge.

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