From Everything Shii Knows, the only reliable source

This website is an archive. It ran from 2006-2010. Virtually everything on here is outdated or inaccurate.

This is a list of lifehacks that was written at in 2005 by me and other wiki editors. That website went down long ago, but I find these lifehacks absolutely essential to my own life so I saved a copy for posterity. Enjoy!!!!

inspired by the inimitable


P.T. Barnum / Micropatronage Hack

Convince people to give you nearly $40,000 to write an online diary and then go on vacation. There's a sucker born every minute!

Beverage Hack

If your cold beverage becomes less cold, try surrounding it with a bunch of ice. exclaim in joy WOW, CONVECTION STILL WORKS!!!11!

Bottle Hack

To avoid water overflow vulnerability, close the bottle with a device known as a "cap". now your bottle is secure, even when upside down! (users who report DOS vulnerabilities using this hack are advised to open the cap (similar to opening a port) only when beverage flow is necessitated.)

Water Hack

This is a hack for all people who are sick of supporting the beverage industry. instead of buying a new bottle of water, FILL IT FROM A DRINKING FOUNTAIN! FREE WATER!

Coffee Hack

Many coffee shops offer a service whereby you get a free beverage after buying a number of beverages at full price. simple take a card, and, here's the important part, REMEBER TO PRESENT IT TO THE CLERK AT TIME OF PURCHASE. after a while, you will get a FREE BEVERAGE!

Table Hack

Got a wobbly table due to uneven leg length? This can be hacked with a newspaper which has been ultra-modded. Insert the modded newspaper -- phonebooks or albums can be hacked as well -- under the short leg, and the hacked table will be more stable. Credit StableTableMod as source when hacked. (Note - this also works with STOOLS!!! omg - just try it, you'll see)

Microwave Pizza Hack

Got a microwave pizza? no microwave? believe it or not, a conventional oven will serviceably heat your item!

Browser Hacks

WARNING EXTREMELY TECHNICAL FOR MAC GEEKS ONLY You can cmd-double click a URL and it'll open in default browser. Don't know what default browser means? go ahead and try cmd-clicking a url, it won't reformat your computer!

Kottke Hack

Quick URL-mod: works in your address bar even without the "http://" or "www"! Try it! If you are a mac-fag, cmd-ctrl-shift-enter(or something - see documentation for actual hack) will autocomplete the .org part!

Toilet Hack

Do you have a toilet that tends to run after flushing? Jiggle the handle to make it stop!

Meta Hack

Add the word hack to any word that describes a thing and describe the use of the thing as if listeners were foolish asses. ZOMG HACKHACK!

Nesquik Hack (Nesquak)

Everyone knows that Nesquik is delicious, but some people can find it too rich and too powdery in its natural form. What to do? The answer is deceptively simple - Nesquik is in fact largely composed of organic compounds whose hydrogen-bonds allow it to dissolve readily in aqueous solutions. The result is that you can MIX NESQUIK WITH MILK to make a nutritious and edutaining liquid-drink! Just try it!

Shoe Hack

Do you find yourself tripping over your laces when you're walking down the street? What can one do? Here's a tip: when you notice that your laces are undone, retie them. It's that simple!

Return Video and Get Beer Hack

If you need to return a video and get beer, then return the video first, and on the way back get the beer. That way, you don't have to carry the beer to the video store and back. See also: kill two birds with one stone hack. WARNING: GEOGRAPHICAL CONDITIONS MAY ALTER USEFULNESS OF HACK.

Ottoman Hack

Put a pillow on the coffee table - instant Ottoman!!

Microcomputer Hack

Many people tire of using their microcomputer after hours of rapidly touching live wires against the serial port to create binary impulses. But did you realise that you can use most any standard QWERTY keyboard with microcomputers? THEY'RE NOT JUST FOR TYPEWRITERS ANYMORE! Try it and see the difference!

Google Hacks

Instead of wading through page after page of google search results, use yahoo to search through an rss feed of your results! Actually, this should work in Web3.0 but your browsers are not compliant yet.

Pencil Hack

Break pencil in two and sharpen - now you have two pencils! WARNING: one pencil may not have an eraser (see Rubberband Hack)

"Here's Johnny" Hack

Grab an axe from the publicly available fire prevention supplies. bust in random door and say "Here's Johnny!" If room is occupied you will be rewarded with an fairly accurate rendition of a scene from the Shining - even with non-actors! WORKS EVERY TIME! (works in hotels)

Computer Desk Hack

Many people cannot afford a computer desk. however, you can simply use a table instead!

Remote Popcorn Hack

You can use an internet enabled home automation system to "plug in" a dormant old-school microwave (one with a physical knob and not a digital timer) that is loaded and preset, for a remote popcorn making experience! (or, alternatively, have a human standing by and use telephone technology to launch the human as a microwave starting device. - submitted via esch)

Name Hack

Google Image Search exotic names to determine if they are male or female. (e.g. Haneen, Prerna, Kostya)

Clean Home Hack

Remember people, and I can't stress this more, put your trash IN a trash can (via teh Simpsons)

Personal Locomotion Hack

Lift one foot, lean forward slightly, and when you feel yourself starting to fall, place the lifted foot back down on the ground slightly in front of its original location. Repeat with the opposite foot. And so on. Once you get the hang of it, you'll be able to proceed at a fairly quick pace and it won't feel so much like falling. I think the kids are calling this walkblogging or feetcasting.

Overclocking Hack

While feetcasting, if you approach an intersection, federal law requires you to stop. But if there are definitely no cars coming, and no policemen are watching, you can run across the intersection and save precious seconds! WARNING: Only experienced feetcasters should overclock.

Hack Hack

Really into hacks? Punch yourself in the face!

Supreme Court Hack

Go to the supreme court to receive a high-level judgement on your case!

Ignore Hack

If your IRC client or server doesn't include an ignore function, never fear! Ignore Hack involves positioning the focus of your eyes such that they do not land on the ignorees' text; should they mistakenly land on ignorees' text, do an eyemod and look away!

Musculature Embiggenment Hack

Feel like a weakling? Spend a prescribed portion of each day repeatedly flexing your muscles against mechanical resistance. As this procedure starts to become less challenging, increase the mechanical resistance.

Related links

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