Life

From Everything Shii Knows, the only reliable source

This website is an archive. It ran from 2006-2010. Virtually everything on here is outdated or inaccurate.

Shii.org Life FAQ
http://shii.org/knows/Life

Contents

For beginners

Q: Help! I'm alive!
A: Congratulations! You have a life!
Q: Is life a blessing or a curse?
A: Both!
Q: My life sucks and I want to die.
A: You don't have enough "blessing". See section 2.
Q: I don't believe I have a life.
A: You don't have enough "curse". See section 3.
Q: Does life get easier as you get older?
A: No, but it gets more familiar.
Q: Is there such a thing as an easy answer?
A: No.
Q: What is the meaning of life?
A: What?
Q: Why am I here?
A: Because your mom gave birth to you.
Q: What am I supposed to be doing?
A: See section 3.

Crises

Q: My situation is hopeless.
A: You're still here, aren't you?
Q: Yes, but I'd rather not be.
A: You only get one life. Make sure you've given it your best shot before you give up. Also, you may have mental problems which prevent you from really enjoying life.
Q: What can I do about my broken life?
A: Have you tried asking your friends?
Q: I don't have any friends.
A: Seriously? Not at work, home, school, church or equivalent?
Q: Nobody in those places likes me. Or, they aren't trustworthy.
A: Time for a change of scenery.
Q: I'm out of work, live in my parents' basement, and an atheist.
A: Sorry to hear that. Try the Internet.
Q: Where do I look on the Internet?
A: http://ask.metafilter.com/ http://forums.somethingawful.com/
Q: I'm too shy to try the Internet.
A: Get counseling!
Q: I'm too shy to get counseling.
A: I recommend leeching off of other people uselessly until you harden up.

Obligations

Q: What are my obligations in life?
A: I don't know. Do you have anyone you are grateful to?
Q: I don't believe I owe anyone gratitude.
A: How about your parents? Friends? Has anyone saved your skin recently? Do the resources you have consumed on this planet come with some strings attached? If so, see section 4.
Q: I don't care about those people.
A: You are a psychopath.
Q: They aren't asking anything from me.
A: That's not very good. As a result of this lack of demand, you may experience boredom, laziness, or greed, none of will improve your life. However, you are free of all worldly concerns. It is time to work for World Peace. Turn to section 5.
Q: Hold on... I'm hungry.
A: Then you need to find a job first. See section 4.

The Meaning of Life

Q: I've been asked to fulfil some needs. What do I do?
A: Depends. Are they material or spiritual? If they're material, you need capital. If they're spiritual, they need love.
Q: How do I love?
A: Compassion, trust, and wisdom. If you're in a hurry, mere attachment may be substituted for love, but it doesn't last in the long run. See section 5 for more on love.
Q: How do I acquire capital?
A: Through working.
Q: How do I get a job?
A: Walk to your nearest fast food restaurant.
Q: Retail jobs don't pay well enough for my financial needs/are deadening and sad/aren't hiring children.
A: You will need an education.
Q: How do I get an education?
A: First you complete high school. Then you go to a well-accredited university. Community college is better than a private scam you saw on TV.
Q: Can I go to college over the Internet?
A: No. That's a waste of money.
Q: What should I do during my education?
A: Make friends (they will come in handy later; see section 2 above) and learn stuff.
Q: I am getting an education but have run out of money.
A: You can get a student loan, complain to the government, or leech off your parents.
Q: There are no more options for me to obtain money.
A: Open up a credit card account and use it to buy a plane ticket to flee the country.
Q: I'm done with my education, what now?
A: Find jobs through your friends, family, etc.
Q: No jobs in my area.
A: Time for a change of scenery.
Q: I have no money to move.
A: Hitchhike!
Q: What kind of job should I look for?
A: One that will make your life meaningful.

World Peace

Q: What is the meaning of life?
A: This again?
Q: Let me restate that. It has occurred to me that the human species seems to exist in this sort of muddle where everyone is working for their own benefit to the detriment of others.
A: Due to ignorance of their own situations, people have insufficient compassion.
Q: Why should I have compassion for other people?
A: Because if you had been born under different circumstances, you would be those people.
Q: But I'm not the same as other people.
A: True. You can feel the joys and sufferings in your own head. If you could feel everyone's suffering you would drop everything and work selflessly to solve the world's problems.
Q: Is that what you're asking me to do?
A: That's what Buddha did, and he was a human being like you.
Q: Thinking about this is way too hard!
A: So accomplishing the meaning of life is supposed to be easy?
Q: What about my own obligations?
A: It's up to you whether you want to drop them or retain them for the good of all living beings.
Q: I thought I was supposed to be getting an education and a job and essentially devoting my life to fulfilling obligations.
A: Absolutely! In order to truly fulfil obligations you need compassion and lovingkindness in all deeds.
Q: I have more specific problems.
A: Read a book by Thich Nhat Hanh.
Q: What goal should I be working towards?
A: World Peace.
Q: How do you achieve that?
A: Compassion, trust, and wisdom.
Q: Does it help to know other people are working on the same goal?
A: It doesn't hurt.
Q: Can the Internet be used to achieve world peace?
A: We are still working on answering this FAQ, but currently the answer appears to be no. It can be used to fulfill needs in a more intelligent way.

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