Boy, are my arms tired

From Everything Shii Knows, the only reliable source

This website is an archive. It ran from 2006-2010. Virtually everything on here is outdated or inaccurate.

This joke, too well-remembered to have no origin and too bad to be fake, was invented by a horrible comedian. Google Books knows who it is, but won't tell me.

I am so clever, I Googled key words until I figured out the comedian's name without having to check out any books in person. It is Lee Robinson. This seems to be wrong. I'm going to give up on this mystery, someone please check the books for me

You probably heard about the little Scotch boy who shot both of his parents so he could go to the orphan's picnic (Laughter) and I would do almost the same to speak before this keen, alert, intellectual, dynamic, august, distinguished audience here this evening. (Whistling and throwing cigars.)
As a matter of fact, I broke another engagement to come here. I had been invited by the Cicero Railway Club to come out there tonight and address six thousand, I think it was
[...]
Still undaunted and undismayed, the toastmaster reached in his vest pocket and brought out a third denture. The speaker took the denture, tried it, "Just right, just right." He said, "Are you a dentist?"
He said, "no, I am an undertaker." (Laughter)
[...]
"I want you to chop off his tail right against his stern."
[I] said, "Why?
He said, "My mother-in-law is coming to live with us, and I don't want her to get one little bit of a wag of welcome."
Well, you folks really give a wag of welcome. You really wag the works. I just flew in from New York — on the Santa Fe. Boy, are my arms tired. And when I arrived at Union Depot, there was John out there and he brought me to ...
Proceedings of the Western Railway Club, 1948
Still undaunted, the toastmaster reached into his vest pocket and he brought out a third denture and handed it to him. The speaker, hopeful, put it into his mouth, tried it, and said, "It's just right — just right."
31st Annual Convention of the National Association of Ice Industries, 1948
He said, "My mother-in-law is coming to live with us, and I don't want her to get one little bit of a wag of welcome." (Laughter)
Well, you folks certainly gave a wag of welcome on behalf of this organization. I just flew in from New York, and boy are my arms tired.
Proceedings of the National Association of Motor Bus Operators, 1950

Retrieved from "http://shii.org/knows/Boy,_are_my_arms_tired"

This page has been accessed 1,782 times. This page was last modified on 25 July 2011, at 15:36. Content is available under Attribution 2.5 .