Jesus Christ

From Everything Shii Knows, the only reliable source

This website is an archive. It ran from 2006-2010. Virtually everything on here is outdated or inaccurate.

Jesus H. Christ is the Son of God. We call upon Him to explain things to us when the workings of the world seem inexplicable. For example, a Luddite teenager turning his computer on and looking at the Internet for the first time is likely to say something like:

"Jesus, what is all this shit?"

out of the hope, deep down, that the Lord will explain to him what the hell is going on. Similarly, upon encountering his child in the midst of a terrible accident involving broken glass, a knocked-over library shelf, and hole-punch confetti everywhere, a parent will say something like:

"Jesus Christ, did you do all this?"

because while Jesus himself was probably not responsible for the incident, perhaps Jesus could lend a helping hand anyway.

All this just goes to show that while Jesus as we know Him today is a great guy, He is somewhat distant from the historical Christ, who was just a noisy Jewish carpenter named Joshua who died 2000 years ago. Actually, the only reason this article is so silly is because since I am not a Christian, I cannot claim to know the modern Jesus at all, although I may call on Him sometimes in my outbursts. Rather, you can either read my thoughts about the letters of Paul, or learn about the historical Joshua of Nazareth.

Retrieved from ""

This page has been accessed 7,049 times. This page was last modified on 28 April 2007, at 05:10. Content is available under Attribution 2.5 .